The Japanese Weddings

Attending a wedding in the most traditional city in Japan, Kyoto, is a unique and unforgettable experience, but attending two weddings is part of the dream: I was in Japan for the first time, thanks to my brother’s wedding with a local girl, and to immerse themselves in the Japanese tradition of the “fox wedding” ceremony (kitsune no yomeiri) which marks the approach of spring, when it rains out of the blue. The invitation to attend the traditional procession in the Kodai-ji temple in Kyoto occurred just on the second day after my arrival in Japan, but the sensation of living outside my body, perhaps exacerbated by jet lag, becomes disbelief, when Mariko (the bride) and her friend Yukiko, invite us to join the wedding procession of the fox, a girl covered by a mask, wearing the traditional wedding dress. So, as the only gaijin of the group, we wear the typical kimono (han ten) and hold the lamps that will illuminate the procession. In front of the jinriksha (rickshaw) on which the fox is boarded, the processional procession winds along the suggestive route that connects the temples of Kyoto through Maruyama park, where the great sakura stands out at the beginning of flowering. Under the flashes of the tourists, the procession makes various stops, then, at the gong signal, leaves again in silence. Returning to the Kobai-si temple, the girl, who cannot see anything due to the mask, is made to get off the rickshaw and, sheltered by a red umbrella, she is accompanied in front of the gong, where, after having recited a prayer, she claps her hands marking the end of the ceremony. When the procession has broken up, we celebrate inside the Kodai-ii temple, together with the other participants, drinking green tea and eating mochi (rice cakes).

After many tests and recommendations, the day of my brother’s wedding arrives. The Buddhist wedding rite is not widely used by the Japanese, who prefer the Shinto one, or the European one, considered more modern. The complicated ceremonial of dressing begins early in the morning. The bride wears two overlapping kimonos, and a kurohi (bridal kimono) with a black background and red and gold flowers, with a gold-colored obi. The groom wears a simpler black kimono with black striped hakama (trousers/skirt). we arrive at the Kodai-ii temple, the location of the ceremony, and we sit in the waiting room, where we are served green tea with mochi (rice cakes). To temper the wait, prepare origami for children. When the drum begins to beat, it is the signal for the beginning. In procession, the groom’s relatives, followed by those of the bride, enter the temple through the engawa (veranda). Finally the groom enters, followed by the bride. The ceremony is presided over by a priest and a bonze who recite the Buddhist mantra accompanied by the gong.

The relatives and the friends of bride and groom, divided on both sides of the temple, hold the “rosary” in their hands Buddhist, reciting the mantra. The priest asks the couple the ritual questions, then the future spouses take turns drinking the sake, to consolidate the bond of marriage and, immediately afterwards, they pour it to the guests into bowls, which after drinking, they will clean and keep in memory of the wedding day. Finally, the newlyweds, followed by their closest relatives, go to the altar to burn a pinch of incense to thank their deceased relatives. The ceremony ends with the delivery of the marriage certificate to the groom, who puts it under the kimono, taking care to leave part of it visible, as evidence of the marriage, after which the priest leaves the temple. The guests congratulate the newlyweds and organize themselves for the ritual photos, mingling with tourists and visitors to the temple, including two maiko (apprentice geishas) who graciously let themselves be photographed. Still in disbelief, I try to capture the moments of this moment to imprint them in my memory.